I don’t like my mother.

And I know there are many of you out there who feel the same.

This is for you if you’re another woman who doesn’t like, or love your mother, please know you’re not alone!

There are so many women around you who feel the same. Let’s drop the shame and taboo of the ‘perfect’ mother/daughter relationship and allow ourselves to accept the reality of our feelings.

In the past, I felt some shame at that truth. Particularly around Mother’s Day when dear friends were missing their own mothers, I felt guilt that those wonderful women weren’t here and that I didn’t want to mention that my mother was alive, but no longer part of my life.

It’s many years since I’ve had contact with her. I’d say that to protect myself, and others in my life, it had to be done, but things were still messy. I was manipulated, pestered, pursued and it took many years for me to understand the complexity of what I had been exposed to.

Having lived through very, very difficult times in childhood, and in-spite of that, trying to maintain a relationship, accept, support, fix and help her. I reached my limit.

I read a quote... “I once loved someone so much that I tried to fix them while they were breaking me” it hit home.

It’s very difficult to be around someone who plays victim to circumstances they have allowed and created.

Luckily, I had my precious Dad and stepmum. My darling Dad died in December. But his grounding, love and tight hugs are always with me.

This Sunday will be Mother’s Day for me, with my beautiful ones.

I no longer try to fix, look for validation or wait for her to take responsibility.

I'm not living with someone who has no accountability and treats my response to their behaviour as the problem. Or who can't accept the impact of their choices and refuses to change.

And I’m not walking around angry or full full of hate. I'm simply unattached.

It's ok for me to not like her or want her to be part of my life.

Like many, many women I work with, I am breaking the cycle. Although I’m far from perfect, I have many failings. I am doing my best to create a new version of motherhood in my family.

My children will know my faults, but I try every day to do my best. My commitment to them is everything.

If you’re a mother, I wish for you that this Sunday is a celebration of you and that you love yourself deeply through the complexities of being a woman, daughter and mother.

#motherhood #motherlessmothers #motherwound #coachingwomen #lifecoachwirral #lifecoachuk #idontlikemymother

#supportingwomen #compassionateself